U.S. Warns It's Time To Distract Everyone's Attention Again

Desperate for ways to distract the American public for the abject failure of the Bush Administration's policy of invasion and occupation in Iraq and in light of the failure of President Jesus Bush's speech to convince anyone he has any clue about what he or anyone in his Administration is doing about it, Attorney General John Ashcroft told a news conference today that al Qaeda are sure to attack the United States "sometime" in the future, citing "credible intelligence" that the bad guys are sure to be up to something bad behind our backs any day now.

"Incredible intelligence, from nearly every source known to man and our crack intelligen